Gastronintestinal discomfort!!?? WTHeck?

Lately Angela has been buying these Fiber Plus granola bar things as a semi healthy snack. They taste pretty good and, supposedly, are good for ya (they are really just glorified candy bars though). I usually pop one in my lunch box to either cap off lunch or help get through the dreaded 2:30 snack attack.

I never thought anything of it. In fact, I thought I was doing my body a favor as my preferred alternative is a Mrs. Freshley's Honeybun from the snack machine. http://www.mrsfreshleys.com/mrs_Varieties/category.cfm?categoryid=46 And those things are basically a handy snack sized glazed heart-attack in a bag.

But to my horror today, as I was unwrapping one of the aformentioned FiberPlus bars, I noticed a tiny warning on the back side of the wrapper...

What the freak?!! "Gastrointestinal discomfort"? Really? I was horrified. I mean just the way the warning is worded is weird. "NEW USERS"...it is as if I'm a new drug addict or something. Is there a Fiber Bar Anonymous group for users of said product?

Me, "Hi...my name is Ty and I've been a user for 3 months."

In unision, "Hi Ty."

Me, "My wife got me using. I blame it all on her. She was the one always going to the dealer for more. And even with the gastronintestinal discomfort, I couldn't stop eating them with their chocolatey coatings and caramel goodness."

Group Leader, "Ty, the first step is to realize no one but yourself is responsible."

Me, "But I was happy with Honey Buns!"

Me, "And now, I'm a user, I've got really bad gas all the time and the snack machine at work no longer carries Mrs. Freshley's Honey Buns. On the plus side, I'm very regular."

Speaking of which...Time for slam!

Laters.